todays shortest conversations

neo the womaniser:

(bumping into each other in the street)
me: oh! i was just thinking about you!
neo: ah, you shouldn't think about me now. you should think about me in your dreams...
i love you! (kiss) bye!

at work in the library:

man: can you tell me where 116 is?
me: yes, it's just at the end of this section.
man: oh, sorry, i meant room 116.

berlin photos

when spelling gets bad

ellie says:
i think i need to sort out funeral clothes...

ellie says:
work out what to wear if it's horrible

Psycho Rob says:
buy something nice and cheap that still looks funky and die it black

Psycho Rob says:
oops *dye

Psycho Rob says:
what a bad place to make a speelling mistake

i cried

today has been so grey and miserable and full of nothing.

except for now.

i have a purring cat curled up beside me, keeping me warm. i can smell the banana oat cake that hannah and i just made. i have an email that hints at a new friendship. and, even though outside is scary and rain filled, i might be risking it to go and see a popular film about gay cowboys.

The Perfect Man

i met up with jem yesterday. i thought that when i saw him everything in my head (and my heart) would fall into place and all my questions would be answered. i think now i actually have more questions...but...it was a good day.

anyways, i've finally started ready 'bridge across forever'. at page 21 i had to laugh out loud - "I made a list: The Perfect Woman. By the ninth page I was getting discouraged. Every line I wrote was important, every line had to be. Yet no one could meet...I couldn't meet those standards myself!"

change that to 'The Perfect Man' for me and i have basically written exactly the same words. i guess a lot of people have. but how on earth am i meant to find anyone who covers all my criteria (which include the following: .has to be in love with 'etre et avoir', .has to read books, .mustn't be a carnivore, .has to see sex as a spiritual act, .has to be willing to crazy dance, .has to want children in the future, .has to feel home outside, ...and preferably loves marmite.)? for anyone that perfect i would be too shamed by my flaws to be with them.

do brains never shut up?

waiting for news

i need one of those hugs where nothing has to be said but everything is understood.

there is only one person in the world i can think of who could give me such a hug right now. and it's not going to happen.

hannah's my saint at the moment.

last night we ate pizza, watched 'babe' and laughed at cuddly toys (or friends) and dressing gowns.

and that was what i needed then.

now...

(repeat)

spiff

so when i went out on thursday i meant to get cash back at the local spar. instead i just ended up with some plastacine and some elastic bands.

and so i made a rubber band ball and (after watching a lot of creature comforts...) this.

i'm brilliant!